Defensive advice

9 posts | Original | Recent
 
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40 Posts
Aug 26, 2014 2:52am
via Android

I really have no one to be on this health kick with but my boyfriend. I want to but I try to hide it from him. He likes the gym and really doesn't eat right at all. I like to try to eat right but dont work out. But every time he brings up working out I get into defensive mode. And he makes comments on how much he wants me to work out with him. But I get offended like he Im not good enough. Wich I know is dumb. But idk how to switch that off. Im overweight and so I guess I'm more self conscious about it. Im wanting a work out buddy. But he is skinny and wants to gain muscle and I'm more wanting cardio. So Id rather do that with a girl. But I have no female friends who live in this area. So its annoying hoe I take offense to his comments. I want to turn that off but I cant help myself

26 Aug
Hi. Inhear you since the samenhas haopened to me. You need to let him know how you feel. Now, with that said everybody needs to start moving at least for 25 to 30 min a day. With all the onesity trend going on you want to be healthy. Now, you can start at home, when you get better then you can start going to the gym. I work most of the time at home. For me its more relaxed plus I get the support of my fitness FB group. Everytime there is a strugle athey keep right on top to...
26 Aug
Yeah I could use the motivation. Whats the fb groups name? Inbox me
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231 Posts
Aug 26, 2014 3:37am
via Android

Probably the first thing you should do is tell him how you feel. Tell him that your sorry for doing it and then ADMIT that working out is sortove hard for you, but try it and then workout a few times. If you really don't like it, then just tell him that you don't want to do it no more and if he has a problem with it, than how can he be your boyfriend? Can't he workout on his own time after all?

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2 Posts
Aug 26, 2014 3:42am
via Android

Hi Colby, are you competitive? If so make it interesting make bets against each other and have him do something crazy and vice versa. As for the gym, why don't you start to exercise at home, invite some girls over and maybe start a zumba class until you feel comfortable to go to the gym.That's what I did and I lost 50 lbs from 255 lbs.

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37 Posts
Aug 26, 2014 9:37am
via Android

You should try to find something you both enjoy. Maybe something like dancing, hiking or even climbing? So he can also do his type of sport and you can do cardio. He wants to do activities with you so he cares. Don't feel offended by his questions. :) Have you ever tried to hang an ad to blackboards in your local gym or where you work? Maybe there are other people in your area who are also looking for workout partners?

26 Aug
My boyfriend are the same in a way, but I don't look at it that he thinks I need to lose weight, he knows I want to, so he's just motivating me. We workout 5 days a week, but he does his thing and I do mine, then on Sundays we do a hike/Walk together. When I started working out I went with cardio and endurance and now that I've she'd some pounds I've started weight training. It's great to have support, and is even better when it's your significant other!
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954 Posts
Aug 26, 2014 12:49pm
via Android

You shouldn't worry too much about what kind of exercise you prefer (cardio or weight) especially if that is part of what is keeping you outta the gym.

However going with your bf who already goes may put you in a weird power dynamic where you feel you gotta listen to him and take his advice or maybe you feel silly or self conscious or somehow LESS than him and I can understand not wanting that. The advice to take up another healthy hobby together it's great for that.

Weight training is great for health and weight loss also, don't let that stop you...and being IN the gym is way better than not...

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40 Posts
Aug 27, 2014 4:23am
via Android

Great Ideas people. But another thing I didnt add is the fact when he sees overweight ppl. He always makes negitive comments to them. Which makes me mad bc I am overweight too.

27 Aug
Problably telling him might be the best thing.
27 Aug
Wow that is so out of line. Eff that
27 Aug
He doesn't see you as overweight, if your his girl. Just comments. My girl is the same
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40 Posts
Aug 27, 2014 4:30am
via Android

Tell me about it. So thats another reason to be defensive. He is positive with me. But still makes me think weirdly

27 Aug
Honestly can't imagine staying with someone who thinks it's their business to talk to strangers about their personal health issues. How embarrassing. Does he talk to people about their rashes or warts? Does he question amputees about whether they are carrying for their stump properly? Does he ask the elderly if they have set up their will? This whole attitude that it's his business to educate an overweight person or whatever he thinks he's doing is wrong as hell.
27 Aug
Like does he really talk TO them?? Our ABOUT them?
27 Aug
Break the routine hun.. it'd s common issue we all have.. you need momentum, its detrimental to you in order to build confidence and energy. Start with 2-3 days a week... Trust me just follow a solid routine and hitting goals will change your mindset and energy.. your bf will have to keep up. Also, do it for yourself not just to feel good by others standards.. if ya start doing that it leads to a path that never ends as you'll never feel good enough..which is not true
27 Aug
He just makes comments about their size to me. And its annoying.
27 Aug
Ah that's way different than i thought...still unpleasant but way more acceptable than talking to strangers.
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3 Posts
Aug 27, 2014 5:27pm
via Android

I know exactly what you mean. Even though I know I need to lose weight and need the encouragement I get defensive about it. Think the only way to stop getting defensive is to start doing things to lose weight. Walking everyday is a great start. If you have Xbox 360 kinect has helped me start losing a few pounds with dance central and your shape 2012. The kinect was very helpful to get started cause i can do it whenever I'm alone. Don't like working out in front of my boyfriend either. Good luck. If you want a workout buddy let me know.

27 Aug
Yeah those were.the ones.that helped me lose weight. I need to get back into doing the Xbox games.
06 Sep
Xbox n wii that helps but the old way from video games from playstation was ddr
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40 Posts
Sep 10, 2014 1:44pm
via Android

Been working out as much as I can.

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