Depression keeping me from my goal
So I've completely lost all motivation, I know I've let my depression take over. I feel like everything I've done doesn't help. I stopped going to the gym, I barely sleep anymore, and I just go to work (which is about all the exercise I get.. I work overnights at walmart). Anyone have any advice on how they overcame this? I feel ugly, obese, and I hate how I look. But I just can never get in the mood to get up it seems.. please help.
So, I typed out this big long reply with some things that have helped me, and then before I hit save, Internet Explorer crashed and ate it. >:( I don't have time right now to retype it (but I promise I will reply again) but in the meantime, I'd really encourage you to search the skimble forums for the term 'depression'. There have been some really great recent posts by people who are in a similar situation, posting their support and posting what works for them and what helps them.
What's telling about those posts is:
- how many there are - we are NOT alone in this.
- the variety of people posting them - adults and teens, men and women, big and small alike.
I really want to say, above all - BE PROUD OF YOURSELF for getting back on the horse and starting fresh. No mantter how many times you start over, you celebrate it!!!!
I go through the same everyday, even today was a festival in my country. Everyone celebrated , but I feel depressed and lonely. The thing u should remember positive things due to depression, then depression will win. Haters will win, so no matter what u ve to do coz there's no alternative for hard work. I can't do excercises what guys of my age can do, but I face too much hate everyday that I've do even a bit in order to not let them win. Hope it helps
I can tell you what happened to me back in january when i started on here... I had just had my 6th baby in 10 years, i ended the pregnancy at 230 lbs, once the month of swelling and stuff was over i weighed 218.8, my youngest was about 6 months old and just looked in the mirror, 5'3"-218.8 pounds, size 20 in jeans, 27 years old, feeling absolutely GROSS!!! So i was looking for a free workout app just to start doing something because i didnt want to feel this way anymore, it started alot with just walking 30 mins a day, 6 days a week. Baby didnt sleep through the night ubtil he was 9 months so tjere wasnt much more i could commit because of the no energy i had, that had me feeling good and i honestly wasnt losing much weight so i knew the routine had to change, started with 45 min walks, and 10-12 mins of strength training, then i would search the forums for challenges, like the burpee challenge and 30 day squat challenges and leg lift challenges, completing those was a real sense of pride for me, and it snow balled to adding in kettlebells and jump rope and kickboxing, push ups, shred program by scotty k on here etc etc i already ate super healthy but had to up my water intake ALOT, as of right now i weigh 186.6 so 32.2 pounds down size 13-14 in jeans, still a very long way to go but i know its within my reach. There were plenty of times i cried and got frustrated and felt like giving up but please please please do not do that to yourself, there are days that i def dont get a workout in, and there were more than enough days that i didnt want to but i will tell you this, to change ur mindset is the biggest and hardest part of this journey because that time ur sitting there watching tv on the couch( like i did) and ur thinking about how fat u r and how u should be working out is the time u should get up and do something even if its only 7 mins. Because exercise leads to u going o that wasnt bad and then u look for something else to do and something else, by the time ur done u will have beast moded a workout and be all sweaty and feel amazing. Plus exercise sends endorphins and serotonin to your brain which makes u HAPPY!!! Ur depression will go away if ur good to urself and make urself a priority. Im gona follow u on here and u can talk and vent anytime u need it. Im on here everyday. If u have questions i'll help as much as i can, i'll be a shoulder for u if u need it, cuz sometimes thats all u need to keep going.
Hi again Andrea!
As promised, I'm going to try to retype the reply that got eaten before. I'm so sorry for the length; I tend to ramble.
So...I totally understand what you're describing about how you're feeling. It really resonates with me. I was officially diagnosed with depression in my early 20s, but I've probably been dealing with it for a lot longer. I go through periods of darkness, and periods when things are brighter and I can feel a bit better about myself. So here are some things that I've found have helped me, hoping that some of them might work for you.
1 - Make sure you get lots of sunlight and outside-time. You mentioned that you work nights, so this might be hard for you, especially in the winter. As much as you can, every day get outside at least a little bit, even if it's the middle of the night. Fresh air, and that feeling of space and nature, really help my mood, especially if I can get some sun, or see the stars. If you can't get any sunlight due to your schedule, maybe see if you can get some full-spectrum light bulbs or even a light therapy device to help out - the vitamin D that sunlight gives us can actually really affect your mood and energy levels.
2 - Take advantage of your good days to think about what you will need during the darker ones. If you're anything like me, when you're in the middle of a dark period, you're a lot less likely to be able to think about what your body and mind really *needs* rather than *wants*. So if you can, do some strategic planning when you're looking at it from a better place. You can use the energy you have on good days to make appointments with health professionals, to research healthy foods and stuff, to work on your environment at home (cleaning, decorating, whatever it needs), and to consider what your *reasonable and realistic* expectations of yourself could be in whatever part of your life needs work, and to work on building strong habits to help you to stave off the dark a bit, and to carry you through it when it comes.
3 - Part of 2 above - nutrition. It makes a BIG difference, as I'm really realizing after the past four months or so of working on my own diet. Whether you're 'dieting' or not, doesn't matter - the vitamins and other nutrients your body needs make a huge difference to your energy and your outlook and can help you when you're trying to lever yourself out of a slump.
When you're feeling stronger, take some time to look up and prepare some nutritious foods you can have on hand that will be convenient and easy to prepare - like, chili in freezable/microavable portions, or ziplocs with raw veggies and mini-packs of hummus, etc. If you're like me, the times when you're feeling dark are the worst for diet because you just don't have the energy to do things like shop and cook and pay attention to that kind of thing. So it's so much easier to default to take-out or convenience foods that do nothing to really fuel us and just feed the guilt cycle. So if you can have good food, food you can feel good about, easy on hand and just as convenient (or more) as that other stuff, you're less likely to feed the beast.
4 - Plan for sustainability in your fitness plans. Choose foods you actually like and can prepare decently. Once in a while, let yourself have a treat without being guilty. Don't just completely cut out the foods you love, just think about how often and how much and scale them back. If you're eating salad all day every day and you hate salad, it's a 'recipe' for failure. Same goes for exercise - choose workouts and activities that are fun and attainable for your fitness level. You should have to work for it, but you should be able to do it. And the more fun you're having, the more likely you are to be able to keep going even when you're having a darker day. Things like dance-based cardio classes (like zumba or aquasize etc) can be great for this because they combine getting out of the house, seeing other people, fun music, and getting active. Your work schedule might make a class challenging, but that's just an example - whatever works for you and makes you smile while you do it.
5 - Try, as much as you can, to be realistic with your expectations, especially at first, and be prepared to forgive yourself when you stumble. Depression is an illness, and just as you wouldn't expect someone recovering from an injury to jump straight into olympic training, you can take things one step at a time with yourself and celebrate each baby step.
Start small. Try thinking about what the milestones are that you want to reach along your way, and celebrate every single one of them. I find it helpful to put my goals in terms of things I want to be able to do, rather than specific weights or numbers (though I do have those goals they're not my biggest focus). For example, two of my short term goals are to climb the steep stair at work without feeling out of breath at the top, and to be able to do a full-body push-up (I'm still on knee pushups). Ultimately, yeah, I'd like to be able to do lots of stairs and lots of pushups, but I am darn well going to happy dance when I hit those milestones on the way.
Above all - you are allowed to be human. You are allowed to fail and to fall sometimes. The insidious thing about depression is that it uses your sense of what you "should" be able to do, twists it into something unrealistic, and then feeds it into a guilt-cycle that builds and builds with each go-around. Throw away the 'shoulds'. When you don't manage to meet a goal, or when you suddenly wake up one morning and realize you've been wearing the same pjs for three days straight....whatever...let it be in the past. Recognize it, acknowledge it as something you don't want to happen again, and think about what you can do to head yourself off next time....but then let it go. Start fresh. Every. time. As many times as you need to.
One of the worst things anyone ever did for my depression was, when I told them I was going to start exercising more (this was years ago), was snort and say something like "why? You know you won't stick with it." This came from someone very close with me, who was pretty frustrated with me. (tbh, she had reason to be frustrated, though the comment was over the line). That comment totally killed my motivation to do the thing, hurt my self-esteem, and as predicted, it didn't last. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy. I had to really work to think through what she said and tell myself that yeah, well, maybe it won't last. Maybe it will. But you know what? Even if it doesn't - every little bit I exercise today counts. Every move does my heart and body good. Every little thing I do to improve my health improves my life and tells me that I have it in me to do it. Even if I go out and eat a pound of jellybeans and mainline three seasons of trash on netflix tomorrow, well, so be it. But today I gave my body what it needs, and I'll recover better after tomorrow. I have to think about today, not the distant future, and definitely not the past, and to celebrate every small success, and let the failures be what they were, and leave them behind.
I hope some part of this helps you - I think it helped me, writing it. :) Stay strong and I'm sending you a hug across the miles.
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