Chuck Norris

35 posts | Original | Recent
 
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612 Posts
Apr 22, 2013 6:26pm
via Android

You don't find Chuck Norris he finds you!

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612 Posts
Apr 22, 2013 6:28pm
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When Alexander Bell first invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck norris

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612 Posts
Apr 22, 2013 6:33pm
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There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris but they changed the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives

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1022 Posts
Apr 22, 2013 7:37pm
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There is no such thing as a lesbian woman. Just women who never met Chuck Norris.

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612 Posts
Apr 22, 2013 7:59pm
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The US never had atom bombs.  They threw Chuck from a plane

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612 Posts
Apr 22, 2013 8:01pm
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Yo mamma's so ugly Chuck Norris had to roundhouse kick her. . . .  Twice!

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176 Posts
Apr 22, 2013 9:23pm
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Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his living room. The bear isn't dead its just afraid to move.

22 Apr
Ha ha ha great
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176 Posts
Apr 22, 2013 9:24pm
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago. Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him.

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176 Posts
Apr 22, 2013 9:30pm
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Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. He scares the sh*t out of it.

23 Apr
25 Apr
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41 Posts
Apr 22, 2013 9:33pm
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Chuck Norris doesn't need flashlight, the dark is afraid of him
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176 Posts
Apr 22, 2013 9:52pm
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Chuck Norris once made a happy meal cry

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176 Posts
Apr 22, 2013 9:53pm
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Chuck Norris can choke a man with the cable from a wireless phone.

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176 Posts
Apr 22, 2013 9:57pm
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Ghosts sit around a campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories

23 Apr
I vote the best so far.
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5 Posts
Apr 22, 2013 10:23pm
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Chuck Norris sells his bears trimmings to the police department to use in bulletproof vests
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80 Posts
Apr 22, 2013 10:37pm
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Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic

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80 Posts
Apr 22, 2013 10:40pm
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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

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114 Posts
Apr 23, 2013 12:16am
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Chuck Norris and Superman once had a fight.  That's why Superman waters his underwear on the outside!
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5 Posts
Apr 23, 2013 12:23am
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Chuck Norris once punched a zebra, it's descendents today are known as giraffes.
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385 Posts
Apr 23, 2013 2:44am
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There is no theory of evolution just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allowed to live..
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385 Posts
Apr 23, 2013 2:46am
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Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush!
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176 Posts
Apr 23, 2013 4:03am
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Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of his head.

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612 Posts
Apr 23, 2013 4:35am
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Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

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20 Posts
Apr 23, 2013 5:36am
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A rattle snake bit chuck norris and 3 days later of excruciating pain... The snake finally died.
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112 Posts
Apr 23, 2013 6:57am
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Lol! Poor chuck norris

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29 Posts
Apr 23, 2013 1:33pm
via iOS
When the president push the red button, Chuck Norris's phone rings.

 

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