Question for the ladies

29 posts | Original | Recent
 
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216 Posts
Jan 10, 2014 10:26pm
via Android

Ladies - On many occasions at the gym, I have witnessed really attractive and well shaped females with dudes who are fat, dusty and straight slobs - why is this? Is it vanity? Are good looking, in shape females intimidated by a guy who may be their equal in physicality (in other words, they wanna be the 'pretty one')? Or are the chicks in my town just weirdos?

10 Jan
Proven psychological fact, the reason women go for men who in most mens eyes their opposite its they are able to see changeability in them. Mostly regarding the fact they believe how the hell did they get this girl and would do anything to keep her. Hence gym attendance and to help boost her morale. I won't say all women do this, nor do all men do this. Just some!
10 Jan
I see - so, weak mind + weak body = get the hot girl.... wow - hey, I guess insecure people gotta stick together
10 Jan
Ha ha ha something like that. I know many hot looking girls with hot looking guys. No problems there, insecure girls lots of problems. Can work for guys to.
10 Jan
You're insightful and interesting to talk to - you have kik?
10 Jan
Thank you. I try my best to sound smart lol no I don't have kik, I've had this app for ages and only recently realised you can help people keep up their good work.
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130 Posts
Jan 10, 2014 11:11pm
via Android

So basically if you like someone avoid basing it on physical appearance try sussing her out personality wise. Then make a judgement!

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130 Posts
Jan 10, 2014 11:29pm
via Android

I know exactly what you mean just don't like that some people take advantage of a persons insecurities (ie appearance) and play them for a fool. I have seen it and I have been through it. Never again. I prefer people who honestly enjoy a persons company regardless of their appearance.
Like the saying goes never judge a book by its cover, because you could be missing out on a damn good read

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63 Posts
Jan 10, 2014 11:38pm
via Android

Its mayb bcz good looking guys r generally too much narcissistic... Too much confidence is a turn down...besides who wants a guy who is all abt himself n less abt u. N then love is not abt looks... Its rightly said to b blind

10 Jan
How can you have too much confidence? Confidence and narcissism are two completely different beasts -
11 Jan
But how can a person live with too much of self pride widout being confident abt himself
11 Jan
Ok I have a second guess here - most women are not confident abt themselves... Guess its just dat they cant approach a good looking guy... I never approached my bf ...but then he approached me :)
11 Jan
Ok u must b thinking I said confidence is not good... But I'd like to emphasize the word 'too much ' thr
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130 Posts
Jan 10, 2014 11:43pm
via Android

Kanika, too much arrogance is a put off regardless of the gender. Both genders can play that game.

11 Jan
I agree...was just talking abt guys thr... But ive noticed guys can take arrogance better then gals
11 Jan
Understandable but I merely want to say it's not about gender bashing. Both genders can be equal to the other in regards to arrogance etc.
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49 Posts
Jan 10, 2014 11:54pm
via iOS
Some of the guys I have dated that were physically attractive end up being douche bags because they can't handle getting attention from other girls and end up cheating or enjoy single life too much. It lowers girls self esteem and they end up being with what we call a safe guy. Someone who we don't need to worry about straying away and will be more likely to worship his lady. That's just my personal opinion.
11 Jan
Meagan I agree with you completely. It hurts to have them stray. And we just get tired of getting hurt and decide to play it safe.
11 Jan
I see - that's a shame - the more I'm reading from all you ladies the more I'm realizing why I can't catch a break
11 Jan
It is a shame that a couple of guys can ruin it for all men, but women are not all innocent either. Hang in there tho, don't give up and a women will come around to you. You are attractive though just hang in there. :)
11 Jan
Oh believe me, I've been done dirty by females, and it's opened my eyes as to why some dudes become players, and quite frankly, I don't blame them - not to say what they do is right, but I do understand why - thanks for the kind words though, I appreciate you
11 Jan
Hey mayb its like whn guys r done wrong by bad girls they get mean and whn girls get done by bad guys they find guys who r complete opposite of th bad guys???
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21 Posts
Jan 11, 2014 12:11am
via Android

Glad we could help Terry. as long as you understand where we are coming from then you have the ability to change for the better. 

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35 Posts
Jan 11, 2014 12:14am
via Android

In my personal experience, it has always been about personality.

But these ladies all have understandable stories, and they all make sense.

I do, though, think its a bit.... judgemental... for you be passing these judgements on these couples.... just a personal opinion.

11 Jan
No judgement - I just call it as it is - girl is hot, dude is ugly
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122 Posts
Jan 11, 2014 1:51am
via Android

Also, some guys may have a nice body but if they have a bad personality, aren't trustworthy, or have an ugly face.... Then they are avoided lol

11 Jan
What if he looks good, is trustworthy, has a nice personality and treats you well? I've seen many females put dudes like that in the friend zone - then they complain that they can't get a good guy -
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122 Posts
Jan 11, 2014 1:53am
via Android

A shorter way for you to phrase your question: "Why aren't all girls shallow?"

11 Jan
I'm just speaking from experience - I've been told on many occasions by females I've dated or talked to that I'm too good for them (their words, not mine) - so, if going after a guy who's good looking, ambitious, successful, and treats a woman well makes a female shallow, what does rejecting a guy like that make her? Does going after a not so good looking guy make her deep? Why not have it all?
11 Jan
It not that easy to find someone that truly "has it all". We try our best to fund what best suits our needs and that requires us to settle for something less then that is what we will do. Oh, and have you get thought that maybe you ARE too good for those girls? Lol. Maybe you are undershooting a bit
11 Jan
Sorry for all those typos lol I hope that was somewhat comprehensible
11 Jan
You know what, I never thought about it that way lol - maybe cause I'm modest, I don't think myself to be better than anyone - I understand what you're saying though, good Insight
11 Jan
Well good for terry
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397 Posts
Jan 11, 2014 4:25am
via iOS
Some women are just crazy af
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21 Posts
Jan 11, 2014 4:27am
via Android

I've met alot of girls like that and i asked one why that and she answered because he'll be just mine, no girl will look at him and i'm pretty sure she was joking, but to say that i think they may have low self esteem, in my opinion you never choose with who you'll fall for, so maybe you say you want someone handsome and amazing but at the end maybe you fall for someone who isn't that. Sorry if i said something wrong i'm from mexico

11 Jan
There is always that! Ha. Not really. Ugly guys can't always be trusted either ;p
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481 Posts
Jan 11, 2014 5:50am
via Android

Mayb they get tired of being objectified and treated horrible and verbally abused and decided to go with someone who would actually appreciate thm and just cause a man likes his steaks and potatoes dnt make him a slob...and they knw it..and women prefer personality and to b treated right and loved rather thn hav a six pack model man tht ain't nothing but a slimeball and always putting her down..and some actually do prefer big guys... of course th six pack model slimeballs can make it hard on th six pack model great guys...making thm perhaps overlooked...but what do I knw ths strictly my opinion and has no fact to it just simply what I've seen and thnk

11 Jan
Well said - and your profile pic is awesome
11 Jan
Yea :-) darkwing ducks rocks!!..I'm am th terror tht flaps n the night I'm am th fly tht lands n ur oatmeal I am th howling dog tht keeps u up till 3 n th morning I am th bill collector tht calls u every 5 minutes...I am darrrrrk winnnng duckkk...u got to love tht guy ...lol sorry way off subject but I find him a lot more interesting thn relationships I guess..
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122 Posts
Jan 11, 2014 6:44am
We are complicated.
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130 Posts
Jan 11, 2014 7:14am
via Android

I think the biggest point is that no matter what a person can look like, they can cheat or play someone as a fool. No matter what looks can not dictate someone's personality.
I think we all have had different experiences but we all pretty much have the same opinion that personality goes first. But in all honesty and I will say I have done this a persons appearance comes first and I have thought phwoar, but talking them shows me something else.
But pretty much from an evolutionary psychological point both genders look at a potential partner with the idea of possibly settling down with. Simple checklists subconsciously about what we desire in the opposite sex.
So we can assume about other people's relationships only so much but really sometimes what we can assume may have some truth to it.

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216 Posts
Jan 11, 2014 7:16am
via Android

Lol what did I start here? Ladies, I love you! I hope we can all be friends after this convo

11 Jan
You should be careful women can be highly opinionated lol ;)
11 Jan
Ha ha wow great convo Terry. Lol ;) you opened Pandoras box right there!
11 Jan
Haha Terry everybody is like family on here we a support each other and all give feed back I hope mine was a little helpful.
12 Jan
I actually liked reading all the feedback. Sometimes there's never a right way to ask a question, am I right ?lol
12 Jan
Political correctness is not my forte lol
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38 Posts
Jan 19, 2014 4:03pm
via Android

I think that women are over a handsome face and lean towards men that are the total package.  Those guys may not be on GQ anytime soon but they are probably amazing men.  If they are at the gym together.  Even better.  Those women nay be the motivation they need to get in shape.

19 Jan
Where have you been?
19 Jan
A friend passed away and I just took time for myself. How are you?
19 Jan
Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that, I was concerned about you. If you need someone to talk to, you know how to reach me - I've been doing fine thanks - trying to keep warm!
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64 Posts
Jan 19, 2014 4:17pm
via Android

They like them for who they are. Honestly I'm more into fit guys but I've dated "healthier" ones too. Cant always judge a book by its cover.

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216 Posts
Jan 19, 2014 8:51pm
via Android

Well, if an out of shape dude is a girl's thing, to each her own. There are some chubby dudes out there who still keep a nice and clean appearance - those are not dudes I'm referring to. I'm referring to really good looking women who are with dudes who look straight dirty - nasty hair, facial hair unkempt,  smells bad - those types

19 Jan
That is down right disgusting and to be honest I think game playing is going on.
19 Jan
Well ya that's a little nasty. Maybe these girls feel like they may make him want to be a better man all together. He sees how great she looks, so he feels obligated to look better. Obviously this is not true for everyone....who really knows? :)
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60 Posts
Jan 19, 2014 10:24pm
via Android

My significant other and me are very active people, we love going long on hikes or weekend backpacking/camping trips together. In fact most of our dates have been going on hikes or bike rides. It's cheap but its the best way to enjoy eachothers company and get to know eachother even more. We save so much money doing that instead of going out on the town for dates.

19 Jan
Amazing hiw that works huh? Lol
19 Jan
Were both very busy living the city life I'm a makeup artist and bartender, he's film maker and photographer for a big skateboard company so we both love quiet getaways whenever there is a chance for one.
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67 Posts
Jan 20, 2014 5:52am
via Android

Who wants ice cream!!!???

20 Jan
Heck yeah
20 Jan
C-C-C-Combo breaker!
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5 Posts
Jan 20, 2014 6:47am
via iOS
He may know how to make her laugh when she is sad. But probably has a big stick and knows how to use it.
20 Jan
Lol you mau be right - my good friend is a big boy and he's got mad charisma, hes a hilarious dude
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17 Posts
Jan 24, 2014 8:58pm
via Android

Terry hun I was that girl.lol personality till I got to know he was just as ugly on the inside!

01 Mar
Funny how that can happen lol
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185 Posts
Feb 27, 2014 12:25pm
via iOS
I tend to notice looks first but they're not the most important thing to me. If a guy has a great personality, is confident but not arrogant, is forgiving but doesn't let me walk all over him, if he is defensive but not trouble making and if he is funny but able to be serious.. Then I'll go for him (the question usually lies with if he will go for me haha :/ ) but if he's a hottie then that's just a bonus (though I don't really relate to guys who don't love sport/fitness) But yeah. I don't know if that answers the question, but there you have it, some insight into my weird world.
27 Feb
In my opinion, most men are stimulated Visually while most women are stimulated emotionally. The ppl you are referring too may be in this situation. He may appealing to her emotional side ie. (need to feel wanted n appreciated) or maybe beyond appearance he is just a really good dude. My point being is get past the physical. Because beauty fades but love conquers ALL!
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3 Posts
Feb 27, 2014 5:43pm
via Android

To me, looks aren't everything. I'd rather have a guy who's out of shape and treats me like a princess than a very fit man who is too into himself to even notice me(and is probably cheating too because all the ladies are more likely to talk to him than an out of shape one) just a thought!(:

27 Feb
But I also would love to find a guy who will eat right with me and work out with me. Its pretty hard finding a happy medium!:/
28 Feb
Well, this may be hard to believe, but ugly dudes cheat too - a person's looks have no bearing on their loyalty to others - I'm in pretty good shape, I cook, can fix stuff and I'm a decent looking guy - I've never cheated and will never do so for two reasons: 1. Sneaking around is just too much work and I'm way to lazy for that, and 2. It's disgusting and just plain mean - I have no shame in telling a chick I don't wanna be with her anymore and then getting with someone else
28 Feb
And besides, why would you want to be treated like a princess? I'd just leave that up to your daddy, because daddy's treat their daughters like little girls - I'm a grown man, and you're a grown woman, so I'd treat you like a queen, because that's what grown folks do

 

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