Advice

6 posts | Original | Recent
 
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482 Posts
Dec 23, 2013 2:11am
via Android

Umm I need advice...what does it mean whn someone walks up and talks to th person ur talking to and ignores u like u dnt even exist....didn't say hi or anything...could it mean th person jus going through a hard time or is it they dnt like me?? Or maybe didn't see me?? Even though tht would of been impossible...all I knw is it really really hurt me...any adults got any advice how I can deal with ths?? I feel like a nobody

23 Dec
"Only worry about your own happiness, which doesn't have to be limited by anyone else's stupidity unless you allow it to be." James Altucher Focus on you and what makes u happy. Ignore people like that.
23 Dec
Hey girl dontfeel sad neather bad those people dont deserve your tears neather your sadness.if u show them your feelings that will make them feel that they r stronger then u.that has happen 2 me aswhell. And u know what in the begginning yeah i felt how u r feeling.but then i said 2 my self screw them assholes if they dont have the curtesy and respect to say hi or 2 talk with me aswhell well then ok see ya good buy next..........just like when u have a boy friend and things arrent goin well. What do u say?...
23 Dec
:-) yea...I've cried a lot of tears but they dnt knw tht...its not suppose to b tht way..I guess sometimes with somethings we hav to hav a i dnt care attitude or we will never make it through life..thanx for th encouragement :-)
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482 Posts
Dec 23, 2013 2:44pm
via Android

Ok ... :) thanx...its just tht person is very important to me and I love tht person so much but Its not jus a one time thing...it still hurts and maybe ths is to much information but sometimes its places like ths where u can ask real questions tht u can get real answers esp. Important whn we live n a world thts so uncompassionate if thts a word and cold ..with An I dnt care.. dnt want to knw.. dnt want to hear it atmosphere...unless of course th shoe is on th other foot...thank you for answering ur advice was much needed and is very appreciated thank u and I thnk I understand what u mean..thank u again

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566 Posts
Dec 23, 2013 3:02pm
via iOS
I understand what your saying. I find it annoying when someone doesn't have the courtesy to acknowledge me. It's like urm...I'm right here!!

Insecure thoughts may say your the reason why the person ignored you, it's something you did etc...the realistic thought is you didn't do anything wrong! May be this person did have a bad day but don't give yourself an excuse to make your self feel bad. It's okay to feel what you feel.
23 Dec
Thank u! :-)
23 Dec
Welcome :) hope your feeling better
23 Dec
Yea I'm feeling better :-) thanx
23 Dec
I'm glad :)
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63 Posts
Dec 23, 2013 9:34pm
via Android

It is really painful..i would suggest you find out why its happening and if that didnt change things then just let them be. I mean you cant make them acknowledge you when they refuse to. Hey be happy..seee we here acknowledge you.lol

23 Dec
:-) tht means a lot thank u
23 Dec
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482 Posts
Dec 23, 2013 10:43pm
via Android

Sometimes I thnk we go through things and the ones tht really hav our back is th ones we dnt even realize..and sometimes we keep close th ones tht dnt hav our back....just cause people can talk the talk doesn't mean they really walk th walk...but true loyalty has no limits though I guess it does come with bruised toes and broken hearts...sometimes I feel like a door matt and a punching bag but th next day ur welcome and I'm still hanging around...all u guys hav comforted me and encouraged me and I'm very thankful a little kindness is forever and a little acknowledgement can save lives and change lives...and put it together u hav a lasting impression tht lasts a life time thank you!!! :)

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954 Posts
Dec 23, 2013 11:38pm
via Android

If this person is in a position of authority, and they see many people regularly, they may very well have forgotten the simple courtesies of the human touch of their role. I'm sure they would not be proud of themselves if they learned of the effect their callous behavior has. When a simple quick greeting, which we, in our culture, are supposed to offer everyone as courtesy, would make such a big difference, I bet they would be glad for a reminder.

The most difficult part of this is somehow telling them so that they don't feel threatened in any way. Criticism does crazy things to people. She/he seems to already consider you in a lower position in the hierarchy, so getting reminders of how they are supposed to conduct themselves from you may be awkward. Maybe that's not a big deal though. Is there anyone else you can talk to? Who could be a calm and helpful "middle-man," and communicate your concerns to this person? Someone who is more likely to be considered a colleague or considered on the same level of hierarchy by this person? (however flawed their concept may be)

Or if you need to do it yourself, it's best done when you are feeling fine, when you are not actually feeling the pain that results from the situation. Sometimes this is impossible, because confronting the situation brings those feelings back.

You can ask to have a moment of their time, there is something you'd like to say. You could begun by explaining "it's difficult to express myself so please forgive the awkwardness but let me try to finish ok?" (something along those lines) Then, try to say something to give them a lot of credit, like, positive things like how you look up to them or they do a great job or whatever, and then say something about how they probably don't realize how you feel, and you know they aren't doing it on purpose (even if they are, this is a very diplomatic approach) "but here's what happens": and then explain what happened (the example of the situation) , say you can't help but feel a little hurt by it. Maybe blame your autism, that kind of works as a blanket diagnosis for any social awkwardness, and even if it's not really true, it gives the other person a little room to save face it's a  kind of "it's not your fault it's mine" type of thing. 

So you've said the example, said you get hurt by it, then explain you think about it a lot and it's distracting, and you're sure they don't mean to do that. So, if they could just, please, offer a little greeting in situations like that, it would really make all the difference in the world to you.

Now, this is just my advice on the situation, real life is always a lot messier than these theoretical situations. Expressing myself in situations like that is SO difficult, and is made even worse by the fact that most people are terrible listeners, not letting me finish a single thought before offering some ridiculous defense I then have to change gears to deal with. It could maybe be handled by "that's probably true but let me finish this thought before I lose it"

Sorry for the super-long reply. Been thinking about this. Maybe this isn't very helpful for your situation...I hope it gives you something you can use, though

24 Dec
I dnt thnk he/she would listen and ur right criticism does crazy things to people..and mayb he/she I dnt thnk anyway they realize it..sometimes we start focusing on look at what I do and nobody cares how much we do...th whole while th ones who do care uve pushed thm away and stepped on thm and not even knw u done it...I dnt thnk I cud tell thm I'm afraid what would happen if I did...autism does make it difficult sometimes to communicate th only way it seems possible is by writing a letter but with all thts going on...
28 Dec
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