This isn't over fitness I just have no one to talk to. I know it's a site for exercise advice as well with nutrition but I need some personal advice lately I've been feeling my partner is trying to control every aspect of my life Idk if it's me or him being insecure a few days ago we got into it over dumb Facebook so I deactivated the damn thing. But ahh Idk I can't wear skirts because men will look I can't wear shorts because men will look not just that but most of the time he seems to be bothered by me and I want to leave because that old saying "misery always wants company" and Well I'm not happy I'm not me but when I'm confident enough to leave I think about my babies 2,1 I don't want them without a father. So far right now he thinks I shouldn't work or go to school since nobody will look after our kids (even though his mother does nothing all day). When I'm getting ready to go run he starts with his "you ran this morning" remarks or again really? Yet when I'm with him all he wants is to watch movies and eat. Not my thing! I like being outdoors I'm a happy person. Is he ashamed of me or something? I don't know what to do my parents think it's all gravy but it's not and I don't want to disappoint them I got married at 18 I'm 21 now and I feel I'm 40 I'm just not happy sometimes he makes me feel he's everything to me then there's some where I can literally just stab him to death.
I think a lot of people forget that your mind and body are connected. We often hear that stress can affect your weight loss goals due to high levels of cortisol, which invites your body to hold onto the fat during high stressful events. Our emotions are definitely linked to our fitness. Good mental health is important in all aspects of your life. Good mental health can empower you to become more fit, to gain more confidence, to seek help when you feel you need it and so on. Imagine feeling unhappy, depressed, defeated, alone and angry then imagine how you would feel if you were cheerful, excited, accomplished, empowered and loved. It seems like you are trying your best to gravitate towards a healthier lifestyle but when you surround yourself with negativity then you're right, "misery always wants company," and you will just absorb everything negative around you. I think you have already made the right decision for you and you're just looking for someone to provide you support in this decision because you already know that you're not happy and things need to change. Sometimes being a mother and a wife, you put everything and everyone else before yourself but if you want to live a healthy and happier life, you need to put yourself before anyone else. You'll be able to be a better mom if you first better yourself mentally and physically.
Try to resolve things as best as you can but also keep in mind that if things don't change for the better, this relationship will continue to bring you down. You need to be strong for your babies, you need to be a role model for them and how better than to stand up for yourself and for your own happiness. You are your own person and you should feel empowered and supported in any decisions you make, especially regarding your mental and physical health.