Concerning behavior

13 posts | Original | Recent
 
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22 Posts
Apr 23, 2015 9:31pm
via Android

So today I went to the gym and after my workout I weighed myself before showering. I usually weigh myself to see if I'm making progress. I have gained 4 pounds so I'm doing well. However, today when I weighed myself I got slapped in the butt buy someone passing by. I made me uncomfortable and I noticed the guy watched me sometimes when I was working out. So my question is, is it normal for guys to do that? I've usually avoided male bonding so it's new to me. I dont want to confront him if I'm over thinking.

24 Apr
He probably assumes you are gay and even if u r don't let it happen if you're not ok with it. I mean respect right
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222 Posts
Apr 23, 2015 9:39pm
via Android

I won't say it's normal, in that you're not friends with him. It's really bold to assume you would be okay with it.

23 Apr
I'm not okay with it, so that being said it would be considered weird and if I see him there again I will confront him. Or maybe I should just ignore him all together
26 Apr
It is very weird and creepy if I was u I would totally ignore him and just enjoy ur day. If u confront him sometimes that can create a problem. Just pretend he's not there and have fun.
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1 Post
Apr 23, 2015 9:42pm
via Android

That is not normal mate. If he is already a close mate sure it is normal depending on your age and relationship with each other. But a stranger? Nuhuh! I have heard of homosexual assault it is the same as normal assault between men and women. Know your boundries and don't  take it! ☺

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214 Posts
Apr 23, 2015 9:49pm
via Android

I'm not a guy so maybe someone else's opinion would be different, but if I was in a public place and someone did that to me, I'd probably haul off and punch him/her.

Unless it's someone you know personally, that isn't even close to being okay.
You should definitely confront him of it makes you uncomfortable.

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1655 Posts
Apr 23, 2015 11:35pm
via iOS
I'll sure as hell way in with my opinion!!

Unless you know the person I don't care if it's a guy, woman, chicken or Santa Claus!! It is NOT ok to smack someone's ass if you don't know the person. 
Simple as
Tell the staff at the gym, tell them he's creeping you out and you want them to keep an eye on him.

Unless he goes around smacking everyone's ass (which I doubt coz he would've had his face kicked in by now) he's singling you out as vulnerable..

Don't let him get away with it, even if done for fun it still not right that he thinks it's acceptable. 
23 Apr
24 Apr
Correct response Scotty. Good call.
24 Apr
One million thumbs up.
26 Apr
It's a gym guys not prison, I doubt he's sizing him up or trying to see if he's vulnerable, I personally would just tell the guy to stop and if he didn't then there would be a big problem..
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222 Posts
Apr 23, 2015 11:41pm
via Android

I'm glad that I wasn't being too skeptical since I replied first. Definitely don't ignore him because he may actually be sizing you up as in, seeing how you respond. This may lead to more harassing behavior and no one should had to deal with that.

Reasonable adults should know better than to act that way.

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821 Posts
Apr 23, 2015 11:43pm
via Android

If anything makes you uncomfortable you need to speak up. No matter the circumstances,  no matter who they are.  You have the right to make the call. On a side note you should be weighing yourself before your workout. After you workout your body retains water, I'm usually a few pounds heavier after my workout.

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385 Posts
Apr 24, 2015 4:10pm
via Android

If a guy did that to me, that I didnt know in the gym, he would regret it when he woke up!

If hes not gay then hes trying to dominate you, a form of bullying!  And its progressed from mental (staring) to physical domination (touching) you.

Let him know your not going to put up with it verbally and if he continues then complain.

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158 Posts
Apr 25, 2015 1:40pm
via Android

Be careful not to drop the bar of soap in the shower

25 Apr
25 Apr
Luckily the showers are more private as they have dividers. So no one should ever have to share one with me.
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20 Posts
Apr 26, 2015 8:57am
via Android

You avoid male bonding? Why? Maybe the guy thought you were someone he knows or maybe he's flirting, instead of been all freaked out and avoiding male bonding why don't you friend this guy? Maybe he can give you some tips! Maybe he will turn out to be a really nice guy! Stop avoiding male bonding the more people you friend in the gym the more u will enjoy workouts and the more you will learn

26 Apr
Don't know how you bond William, but prepare to get filled in if you try "male bonding" with me like that. It is not normal, not male-bonding, and should not be permitted or tolerated. Simple.
26 Apr
Chill dude i was joking, it is unacceptable behaviour but, I wouldn't take it too seriously tho, if he done it again I'd ask him not to and if that didn't work I'd report him, to be honest tho i was only asking the guy why he avoids male bonding, nothing wrong with bromance unless your homophobic in that case there is still nothing wrong with bromance the problem is with you! Boom!! Schooled!
26 Apr
I'm not homophobic, my issue goes a lot deeper and it's very personal. Let's just say I haven't been treated very well by some males. And I don't wish to be afraid of males so I am working on it. That is why I asked this question because I don't know.
26 Apr
So it's not an issue with male bonding it's an issue with trusting other males, anyway if it freaks you out report him bro
26 Apr
@William, poor form of joking. And don't presume to have "schooled " me, or call me bro. Thank you.
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1655 Posts
Apr 26, 2015 2:15pm
via iOS
Can I add one more point on this? 

I said I didn't care if it was a guy, woman, chicken etc coz it doesn't. Take away the fact it was a guy....... Is it ok for ANYONE to smack you on the ass when you don't know them?? 
It's socially unacceptable behavior the same way it's not acceptable for me to headbutt someone.

It made you uncomfortable. Simple. Tell the staff to keep an eye on him if you don't feel comfortable confronting him. 

Hopefully he was just jacked up on pre-workout and it was a one-off or you get it sorted mate 
26 Apr
Yeah actually never thought of that good point Scott.. he was most likely pumped up on pre work out or even worse he's on the steroids(that still doesn't make his behaviour acceptable) but I wouldn't take it personally
26 Apr
I wouldn't take it personally either, I'd just tell him not to do it again, but Joseph is just getting into the gym-life & it's made him feel uncomfortable. Different personalities deal with things like this in different ways and I don't want him giving up the gym coz he feels awkward
26 Apr
Yeah Joseph don't let things like that turn you off working out, people staring at one another happens all the time in the gym. Usually one person is looking at another in envy or in your case the guy is probably looking at you and thinking how much he'd like to train you, I've often done it myself, I'd be in the gym working hard and a new guy would come in, over the next days and weeks you see this guy time and time again and naturally You look at him for signs of improvement i.e bigger arms, stronger...
29 Apr
Yeah I've been going to the gym still that wouldn't keep me. Today I've added 20 lbs total to my upper body routine. And I saw the guy again and he watched me somewhat. Then when I went back to the locker room he followed me and before I could confront him or anything he said he was glad to see I was making progress without having a personal trainer. And then he went on to tell me he was a personal trainer and asked if I would like to hire him. I kindly rejected but I guess I'm not...
01 May
I'm still just as weirded out. Guy sounds like a classic manipulative abuser. He could have just initiated a conversation like a normal adult... But he smacks your butt, noticeably watches you, and followed you to the locker room, where he tries to power through & cut off any kind of confrontation by trying to make it all seem ok because he's a trainer? This is not how adults make friends, & definitely not how professionals get business. The guy sounds like a creep.
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12 Posts
Apr 26, 2015 3:43pm
via Android

Maybe he just watched you and it's normal or if he's a stalker and knows that you know that he's watching you, you'll be dead in 5 minutes.
So don't worry
Just kidding
I think it's normal. If it happens a few times more you should probably ask him.

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51 Posts
May 1, 2015 4:42am
via Android

No it's not OK.  In the workplace, that would be sexual harassment and grounds for visiting human resources.

Women get touched inappropriately all the time, groped in the subway, etc., so that you should be able to find a lot of advice online.

Sorry, I feel helpless when this happens, sort of powerless, but i think that's what the person who is doing this to you wants.  You have to find a way to get the upper hand.

01 May
Thank you! I thought so to so I told the staff about him anyways. They tried to tell me it was just his style and he was very serious about his job. I told them that if they weren't going to act seriously about it I would.
02 May
Yeah, fake the power till you make it. Don't let this guy get the best of you. I bet there are some other people that he picks on as well.
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